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Woman & God

by The Cold Desert

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1.
Oh my god! Where were you when I drove to Fresno in my old white car? It broke down twice out in the church parkin' lot. You sent a man - with his blackened hands he made the car start. Then on my way home, just past the Mojave sands, the A/C was gone. I switched with my mom. And I prayed for the people, sang for the people, blessed the sidewalk with my hands. And I prayed for myself, sang for myself, cursed the bluesky with my feet. Oh my god! Where were you when I broke Anna's heart in high school? It was April or May, I don't know what I ought to have said. You sent a man - he took her hand and caught her tears in a jar, and you pressed his lips like coals to her ears and told her everything she needed to hear. And I ate of the body, drank of the blood; it tasted like bread and cheap wine. And I ate of the word, drank of the spirit; it tasted like cigarette smoke. Oh my god, where was I when you spoke to my father? Oh my god, where was I when you wept with my mother? Oh my god, where was I when you protected my brother? Oh my god, where was I when you danced with my sister?
2.
I was born on a mountainside and in the canyons echoed my cries: "here am I, hear my heartbeat!" Oh! my eyes have tasted the soul inside the husk of world and drank the liquor of the forest, of the rivers, of the plains. And oh! what wonders I have seen. Oh, what beauty, oh my soul! And what mysteries between, oh my soul. They who brandish the sword of the Name, who claim to guard the only way to the Spring of Redemption, they say my skin is an empty bottle. Oh, cut me open, look inside: behind my bones there is blood, there is life there is warmth. There's a fountain of wisdom that flows from my roots, from the north. And oh! what wonders I have seen. Oh, what beauty, oh my soul! And what mysteries between, oh my soul.
3.
I watched her watch her tea steep from across the room, the daughter of the water lilies, priestess of the moon. She coyly coils her fingers round my hangin' man's noose. I feel the fire burn below my walkin' man's shoes. And if I was a woman, Lord, I'd know what to do. To be a man with any other woman is enough: just whisper honeyed insults in her ear and act tough. Buy a flashy car or sing a tender love tune, but it must take a woman's tongue to make that dame swoon! I caught her mockin' glance through plumes of serpentine steam, the daughter of the dragon, Mount Vesuvius queen. She drinks, she sinks her teeth into my lonely heart's blues. Her scaly skin kindles a spark down my cannon's fuse. And if I was a woman, Lord, I'd know what to do. I don't know what I could say to rattle her cage. If I move any slower, mama, I'll die of old age! My manly intuition could use some femininity. Open up my veins and let the venom into me! Oh, I need a woman, Lord, to tell me what to do.
4.
Demon Wind 05:31
Oh, I feel a heavy rain a-fallin' on my shoulders. Oh, I hear a demon wind a-blowin' down my doors. Oh, I see a hurricane approachin' from the ocean. Oh no, I see a lioness encroachin' on my borders. I hold my hands up to warn her. I say her secret name. I wrap my body around her. I calm the storm. And in the shadows there's a rattlesnake a-slitherin' to sink its teeth into her, sink its teeth into her. And in the lamplight there's a silhouette a-shiverin' to feel that heat again, feel it on her skin. I hold my hands up to warm her. I kiss her shakin' lips. I clothe her body in fire. I bring the rain. I hold my hands up to ward her. I touch her sacred place. I lay her body to rest. I heal her flesh. Oh, I feel that mornin' sun a-shinin' on my weary bones. Oh no, I watch my lioness a-walk on down that empty road.
5.
My heart of stone, no wreckin' ball could damage it. I was in love, but I couldn't manage it. I was at war, was shipwrecked on a desert shore, was salted by the sea, was shivered to the core. I was a man tracin' patterns in the sand. The Skeleton Coast is a desolate land. I carried my cross, carried my cross, don't know what's the use? What's the use if it don't quench my thirst, if it ain't no good for food? It seems I can't even just live my life without somebody askin' what I'm doin' and why. It's so hard to explain how come I hardly feel like speakin' when all I got is words and never was no good at preachin'. I was alone, castaway without a home. The only human voice I ever hear is my own. I was a man with cracked and calloused hands diggin' shelters on the shore. The tide always fills 'em up with sand. I memorized all my lines, don't know what's the use? What's the use if they don't bring me hope, if there's no one here to say them to? My heart of stone, no wreckin' ball could damage it. I was in love, but I couldn't manage it. I built my house upon the rock, no hurricane could damage it, got so cold at night and I couldn't manage it.
6.
Passing Cars 05:14
Dad says lately I've been distant. I've been meaning to make time. Dad says lately I've been quittin' all the things that make him proud. I'm much older than I once was, I've been shrinkin' in reverse. I've been changing with the weather: now I'm cloudy, now I'm cold and clear. The world is full of hurt, we've got enough but we're makin' more. And we don't know which way to go, we've got a map but we've no roads. I'm scared of hell, I'm scared of heaven. I don't believe in either one of them. I'm caught in between. Lately I feel I'm unfocused, I've been chasin' passing cars. I've been thinkin' if I caught one I would drive it home to Calgary. The world is full of hurt, we've got enough but we're makin' more. And we don't know which way to go, we've got a map but we've no roads. The world is full of love, we've got so much that we don't know what to do with all this love. Our hearts are bursting! Hearts are bursting! It hurts like hell, it hurts like heaven to know that this will never change. It feels like lightning between my teeth, to think a kiss could bring such pain. It feels like dying inside a dream, to wake with fire inside the veins. It flays the skin from off my bones to know that I won't ever change, to know that I won't ever change, to know that I won't ever change.
7.
Reamnesia 04:33
2008. Boy stand up straight, you could go far, you've got the charm, a touch of fate, a touch of greatness. Mind you place and mind your footsteps. 2009. Now stand in line, bide your time, it's worth the wait, worth the wait. It's such a weight to carry inside. Boy, leave it behind! 2010. Begin again, become a man, forget the past, work the plan, plan to change, change of plan: make the same mistakes again, again, again, again. Read the same books again. Recite the same lies. Reborn, relie, regret, redie, realize: reamnesia. Reamnesia. Reamnesia. Reborn, relie, regret, redie, realize: reamnesia.
8.
Peel back my winterskin, hang me out to dry in the wind. It's summertime. Peel back the lids of my eyes, peel back the clouds from the sky. It's summertime. It would be beautiful if you were here. Peer out the western window, watch how the sun explodes. It's summertime. Breathe in the air after rain, feel a calm you can't explain. It's summertime. It would be beautiful if you were here. It would be beautiful if you were here. The desert is empty as it seems, life is meaningless as dreams without you. So build a shrine out of my bones, bleached whiter than these stones, so your heart won't be alone when you finally come home.
9.
Bad Reaction 04:50
Bad reaction to the back door slammin' on the back porch of her mama's house. I'm old-fashioned like a box of matches, got a redhead temper like 'em too. I stormed out into the coalblack wilderness, she stormed after like a stormcloud cracklin'. Thunder rumblin' and cursewords tumblin' out between her teeth. She said, "go! Go! You ain't welcome here no more. I don't ever want to see you again." But she followed after me until 42nd street and it was clear I wasn't gonna stop and turn around, say "I was wrong." Bad reaction to the blackhaired basterd puttin' hands upon my face. I got handsy on the dancefloor handlin' his skinny girlfriend's waist. I struck back with my left hand knuckles and he grabbed hold of the back of my jacket collar. We got thrown out, cursewords flowin' out split lips missin' teeth. He said, "to hell with you! I will beat you black-and-blue if you ever lay a finger on my girl." But she followed after me and she left him in the street and then she took a breath, took my arm, kissed my cheek, got in my car. It was clear I wasn't gonna stop and turn around say "I had won." I wasn't gonna stop and turn around say "I was wrong." "I was wrong." All my words are flightless birds and all my questions got no answers. All my poems are empty homes and all my songs ain't got no meanings. All my thoughts are crackin' pots and all my plans ain't got no actions. All my dreams are magic beans and all my hope got no reason! It's just a bad reaction, bad reaction. It's all just a bad reaction.
10.
Southern women full of southern elegance will fall in love with me just like good ol' southern romance stories. Just like in old movies they'll hold their breath for me. Because I am a roguish gentleman with a gentleman's charm and a gentleman's gentle hands. Oh, but southern women make so many demands on love and lovers, they make so many plans inside of plans inside of plans. I'm gonna leave 'em in the chapel, backbones pressed against the altar, eyeballs fillin' up with water. Southern deities and southern piety ain't got no hold on me. I'm just too damn' tired of homilies and too stillborn from hearin' 'em waste their breath on me. Because god walked behind me, he walked beside me. He was with me in Savannah but he left me in Abilene. Oh, southern beauty, it rusts too fast. It shines so bright, but it never seems to last. Oh please just last. Why don't you last? I'm gonna leave you in the chapel, backbone pressed against the altar, eyeballs fillin' up with water. Behind that snow-white veil there lies a china skull. And there's nothin' I'd like more than to see it shatter on the floor. But my train is a-leavin' at a quarter after four and I ain't gonna waste no more time in gettin' out that door and keep the ring. You'll never see me again. There's a pale, pale rider on his coalblack mare and one day he'll find me, it don't really even matter where I'm livin'. I'll be dyin' in the valley of the sun. It's the land of ashes, land of purgatory, where everyone's from somewhere else and everybody has a story of glory and hope.

credits

released February 17, 2013

Produced and recorded by Cory Spotts in Phoenix, Arizona

Mastered by Josh Niles in Nashville, Tennessee

All these songs were written by The Cold Desert

Jared Kaiser-drums, percussion, additional vocals
Matt Klassen-vocals, guitars, mandolin, harmonica
Cody Nelson-guitars, pianos, organ, backing vocals
Jason Stromberg-bass, tambourine, additional vocals

Additional percussion by Cory Spotts
Banjo on Bad Reaction and Southern Women by Mike Schey
Additional vocals and handclaps on Canyon Echoes, Feminine Venom, and Bad Reaction by Aaron Smith and Bryan Quiroz

Album design and photography by Tiffany Egbert

Special thanks to all our loyal and generous fans who supported this album in so many ways. We can't make music without you, and we wouldn't want to anyway. Thank you also to Kody Manke, Zak Walter, Joseph Gowen, Mark & Charlotte Kaiser, Debbie Flood Griggs, Jill Stromberg, Mike & Terri Roller, Cindy Montana, Darren & Lynn Pang, Mary Rose Erickson, Chris Franz, Tiffany Egbert, Jason Richard, Sonny Nigro, Cory Spotts, Josh Niles, Ambiguous Clothing, and Copper Hills Church. And most of all, thanks to our biggest fans: our families. We love you!

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The Cold Desert Phoenix, Arizona

Phoenix-based roots rock quartet The Cold Desert began as the solo project of Matt Klassen in 2008. After filling out the lineup with drummer Jared Kaiser, multi-instrumentalist Cody Nelson and bassist Jason Stromberg, they released their debut EP "Four Doors" on September 30th 2011. ... more

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